There is a great deal of clarity that comes with hindsight. The more expansive one's personal timeline offers a greater number of data-points there are; like pixels on a high-definition television. It is incumbent upon us all to gain an understanding of life as we age, and then at least attempt to share that which we've learned with others. It's the only manner in which human society can prosper.
If you've read my novels you'll understand I've survived a very difficult life. Writing is my way of organizing those aforementioned data-points of my own, into logical conclusions of who I am and why I'm haunted by thoughts whose genesis emanates from childhood experiences.
At this writing, I have sixty-one years of life-experience. Through that time I've bounced around life, moving from ephemeral experience to another, without advancing myself toward a stable experience. I now understand it to be my lot in life. More spiritually, it is the assignment God offered me before my birth. It is an agreement which I whole-heartedly accepted. Intense failures experienced as a younger man cannot be forgotten. They can be pushed aside, but when one truly wants to use the life they've been given as a learning experience, it is incumbent that person examine every stupid decision made.
There have been many times I've shaken my fist at God, asking why I was being punished by placing me in caustic circumstances that made life more difficult than human life was meant to be. Not until I aged past a testosterone driven existence did I realize that God hadn't punished me; God challenged me.
That is the person I am.
As it relates to college football, I consider myself lucky to have been a punter for the Florida State University Seminoles from 1983 through 1986. I am only stating facts to provide a modicum of validity for my contentions. Among other accolades, I was awarded the honor of being named an Associated Press All-American (Honorable Mention) three times during my brief college career.
For my life to make sense, as a member of the human race, I feel compelled to offer my experiences with hope they'll land within the consciousnesses of young people. Doing so, may help those struggling with life's challenges to learn from my mistakes; leading to a more settled life.
With the exception of sporadic angry conversations with God, there was no settling influence in my life. I did not embrace stability, because I was taught as a child that life was nothing more than a collection of experiences. What this sixty-one year old man realizes now, but not too late, is that God has been my stability; always there for me. I now know that God never gave up on me, even when I'd given up on myself frequently throughout life.
This is where I thank that benevolent force for offering those four years at a time when I was especially vulnerable. There were two men in my life who did possess Godly principles; Bobby Bowden and John Eason. Those men were Earthly representations of God's stability. These men could have easily given up on me at a time when I so readily gave up on myself. They provided the most intense form of stability I'd ever experienced. My epiphany was aided by both men's continued success within the realm of college football; helping countless young men navigate that rickety bridge between childhood, and becoming contributing members of society.
I will state unequivocally that I would have loved to have made money playing college football. I also know myself well enough, through sometimes brutal self-assessment, that I would have blown through all that money in a matter of years whose sum would have amounted to less than a decade. I'm equally happy that that experience for me was pure of outside influences, like the worship of mammon.
Money's only purpose is to facilitate ephemeral experiences. It doesn't last. Even when it becomes a measure of lifetime wealth, as the old saying goes, "you can't take it with you." Once we leave behind that which we've accumulated during life, the only thing remaining is our relationship with Universal benevolence.
I've been a casual observer of college football across the decades. However, I am well-aware of the damage being done to college sports, and the athletes who compete. These young men and women are being taught to seek money as an assignment of their value. Those meant to grow in a stable manner throughout life, and pass along their personal experiences, seek ephemera that will dissipate all too quickly.
I can envision a time in the future when these young people fracture families through all-too easily obtained divorces. This is a phenomenon I've experienced with my parents, and myself.
As I stated earlier, God offers eternal stability. As we grow into parents it is incumbent upon us to provide Earthly stability for our children; teaching them to do the same for their kids. Inter-generational cohesion among family will only resonate beyond those bounds and offer a greater harmony among humanity.